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<title>don't know you super well (but i think that you might be the same as me) by thisismetrying</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972346">don't know you super well (but i think that you might be the same as me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismetrying/pseuds/thisismetrying'>thisismetrying</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Queen's Gambit (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Episode: s01e05 Fork, F/M, Introspection, basically don't take life tips from beth harmon but stan B2, but you should NOT go on a road trip with a man you barely know, even if he is sexy in a rat way, idek what this is but here, look i had to write this BECAUSE REASONS, not to get all frozen on everyone, very little editing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:21:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismetrying/pseuds/thisismetrying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth doesn’t know why she even considers Benny’s offer. Honestly, it’s probably stupid and she can just hear a hundred housewives around the country scream at the impropriety of it. She can hear Mrs. Deardoff’s scolding voice that that is not what good Christian girls do. She can hear her mother telling her that men are going to want to come along and teach you things, and she should just blow by and do whatever the hell she feels like. </p><p>She barely knows this man, the stupid pirate with a cowboy hat and trench coat. For all she knows, he might murder her in vengeance for taking his title. She’ll end up as a headline splashed on the news, “National Chess Champion Murdered by Former Champion.” She really shouldn’t. What does she even know about Benny Watts? </p><p>-<br/>or Beth's thoughts at the end of "Fork"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beth Harmon/Benny Watts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>don't know you super well (but i think that you might be the same as me)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me: men can you please be more like Benny Watts?</p><p>also me: please don't actually go on road trips to random men's basement apartments to play chess with them, because unlike Beth you will probably not find your soulmate, and instead end up on 60 minutes</p><p>(title and lyrics in italics from Lorde's "Homemade Dynamite")</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Don't know you super well</em>
  <em><br/>
But I think that you might be the same as me</em>
</p><p>“Can you come to New York?”</p><p>Beth doesn’t know why she even considers Benny’s offer. Honestly, it’s probably stupid and she can just hear a hundred housewives around the country scream at the impropriety of it. She can hear Mrs. Deardoff’s scolding voice that <em>that is not what good Christian girls do</em>. She can hear her mother telling her that <em>men are going to want to come along and teach you things</em>, and she should just blow by and do whatever the hell she feels like.</p><p>She barely knows this man, the stupid pirate with a cowboy hat and trench coat. For all she knows, he might murder her in vengeance for taking his title. She’ll end up as a headline splashed on the news, “National Chess Champion Murdered by Former Champion.” She really shouldn’t. What does she even know about Benny Watts?</p><p>She makes a mental list: He has been playing chess since he was six-years-old. He drew against Najdorf when he was nine. People say (or at least said, until she came along,) that he’s the best American player since Morphy. He dresses ridiculously. He carries a knife around “for protection” (whatever that means). He’s good at speed chess. She beat him in 30 moves.</p><p>It’s not much to go on. It’s almost nothing really. None of that really tells her much about him, or at least, it doesn’t tell her much about whether she should go with him to train for her rematch against Borgov.</p><p>“I don’t know,” she says, truthfully. What good is her mother’s advice if she doesn’t know what she wants?</p><p>“You can sleep in my living room and you can leave for Paris from there,” he says.</p><p>Beth briefly thinks that he might just want to fuck her. But if he did, there’s no reason for him to invite her all the way to New York. They could just as easily do it on the twin bed in one of their dorm rooms. She’s made it clear that she wouldn’t be opposed to it. Or at least, as clear as she’s going to get without adding to the stupid pirate’s already over-inflated ego.</p><p>“That’s very nice of you,” she says. “But I’m not even so sure I want to go to Paris anymore.” The plan was always to go to Paris with Alma. Alma’s not here anymore. She <em>died</em> during the last match Beth played against Borgov. She takes a sip of her beer.</p><p>Benny, who apparently got his manners as well as his hat from a barn, drags her beer away. “What are you gonna do instead, huh? Get drunk?” he asks. She knows he means it facetiously but he’s read her mind exactly.</p><p>She tells him as much. “Now that you mention it, yeah, sounds pretty good.” She is decidedly <em>not</em> joking.</p><p>“Beth…” His voice is reproaching. She’s really not in the mood for a lectures. Especially from Benny Watts. Besides, Benny couldn’t beat the Soviets. As he said, four Soviets is practically murder. What could he have to teach her?  </p><p>“Borgov made me look like a fool.” It’s the truth. Benny should understand.</p><p>“That’s cause you weren’t ready,” Benny responds easily. The unspoken implication being <em>you’ll be ready if you come to New York. </em></p><p>But she’s not so sure about that. “I don’t even know if I’m good enough.” Maybe Harry was right, the <em>LIFE</em> reporter was right, maybe she’s just destined for madness, not greatness.</p><p>“You’re the best there is.” She looks at him, this man who walks around like he owns the place, in his ridiculous getup and an ego big enough to fill all the empty seats of second-rate college auditorium. He says this earnestly. His face is open, or at least not haughty like it was when he hustled her the other night. He says it like he actually <em>believes </em>it. But what does Benny Watts know about her?</p><p>She beat him in 30 moves. He’s been studying her games, long before he even remembers them meeting. He thinks she attacks like Alekhine. He thinks she’s the best player here, even before she beat him today. He thinks that she drinks too much. He thinks that she actually has a chance against Borgov.  </p><p>As if confirming her thoughts, he says, “You beat <em>me</em>.” He states it as if that’s some crowning glory, some definitive proof that she’s the best. Of course, in his book, it would be.</p><p>She thinks about what she knows about herself: She has only ever lost to Mr. Shaibel, Benny Watts, and Vasily Borgov. She went to pieces against Borgov in Mexico. She got through Benny Watts and won the National Championship, just like she planned. She was planning on going to Paris, where Borgov will be. She has five weeks until then. Her mother is gone, went mad. Alma is gone. Harry is gone. She has nothing and no one to go back to in Lexington.</p><p>Maybe she is lonely. Maybe she just wants to beat Borgov that badly that she’ll take help from anyone. Maybe she just wants to fuck him, with his stupidly nice hair. She runs through these <em>maybes</em> in her head, the only explanations she can think of for why she’s even considering this ridiculous proposal.</p><p>She hasn’t had more than ten conversations with this man and most of them have been tense, if not downright antagonistic. But then she thinks back to their exchange yesterday.</p><p><em>“Do you ever go over games in your head?” </em>She’d asked. She’d never asked anyone else this. She knows Harry doesn’t. Is fairly certain that the twins don’t, that Townes doesn’t. That <em>normal </em>people don’t. <em>“When you’re alone. Play all the way through them?”</em></p><p>And he hadn’t looked at her like she was crazy for suggesting it. Instead, he’d looked at her like she was crazy for asking, the answer was so obvious. <em>“Doesn’t everybody?”</em></p><p>Maybe Benny Watts can help her, after all.</p><p>“Okay, fine. I’ll come to New York.”</p><p>(Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?)</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Our rules, our dreams, we're blind</em>
  <em><br/>
Blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want to talk more about Beth and Benny, join the Discord where all the cool kids hang out: https://discord.gg/p8w8wVMC</p></blockquote></div></div>
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